At a Glance-Revising Your Draft

In my final draft more sources are needed to back up my thesis. To back up my thesis I will integrate more direct quotations and paraphrased source material into my essay. The analogies used were a little unclear to some of those who reviewed my paper. In order to give them more legitimacy the analogies will be developed a little more to make a more direct connection to my thesis. The conclusion needs to be more concise and clear as well. I did not exactly give a conclusion, instead I made another point. In my new conclusion a more in depth summary will be included and a more direct answer to the question posed by my thesis will be given. The main problem with my paper are formatting issues and sources. I will replenish my sources and entirely revise my format to make it MLA style. Part of this process will be making sure I have parenthetical citations for all outside information that is not already apparent to the reader.